My sweet baby girl,
You turned 4 months old this past week. It has been 125 days since we first laid eyes on you and 365 days since we announced to the world that you were growing inside of me. Yep, exactly one year has gone by since we first learned about our little New Year's surprise. When that extra line showed up on that little stick, I cried tears of joy and utter surprise. I'll be honest, right before we found out about you, we had been passing the idea around of not having anymore babies. I am so glad that God knows what is better for us than we do. It seriously makes me sad to imagine life without you. God showed us so much favor by making us your parents Addison. It has also brought us great joy watching your two big brothers fall in love with you. At ages 4.5 and almost 3, Josiah and Elijah are absolutely enamored with you. I swear my heart grows every time they gently kiss all over you. I think you eat it up already too.
This past month was huge for you. The biggest milestone you reached was rolling over. You have also really fallen in love with your hands this past month. You take a pacifier when you go to sleep, but we can always expect a hand (sometimes two) in your mouth while you are awake. You're still nursing great every 2.5-3 hours. You weighed 13 pounds and 4 ounces last week and are as healthy as can be. At this point, your brothers had you beat by a few pounds. Even at only 4 months, I am constantly blown away by the difference in little boys and little girls. To be able to experience both worlds has been such a blessing.
Addy Jo, one thing you need to know about your momma is this: I want to protect you from everything. And right now, you need me to. But I know there will be a day when I have to back off. That is a scary thought in today's world. It's not just the physical and disturbing news that I hear and see that scares me for you. It's knowing that whatever I went through as a girl AND a woman, you will probably go through 10X over. This cruel world is going to tell you that you're not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, and the list goes on. And I'm going to combat it with this truth:
"For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them." (Psalm 139:13-16)
Addison, it is my prayer that you write this on your heart....that God and His truth will be your shield against the evils of this world. You are fearfully and wonderfully made...What kind of world would this be if everyone believed those words about themselves? There is a confidence that comes from knowing this that is unlike any "good feelings" that you will feel from any compliment that you receive. And when the compliments don't come, because sometimes they don't baby girl, this truth is all you need....You are fearfully and wonderfully made...when everyone and everything fails you, Jesus remains constant...As your momma, I wish you all the joys that one life can bring. But even if this world fails you in every way possible, know this: Jesus never will.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made....
I love you sweet girl.
P.S....the jewelry in the pictures below belonged to DeDe. She loved all things vintage and antique like and it's bittersweet to see you wrapped up in her pretty things. She would have ate you up. We are coming up on 4 years since the Lord called her home. DeDe is one of my greatest examples of a woman who loved God with everything she had. Even when cancer kept taking over her body and this world ultimately failed her, she still clung to the promise that she was fearfully and wonderfully made. She truly clung to Jesus. What a wonderful testimony she was to all who knew her. I pray that her testimony to God's love and grace lives on. She has been one of the biggest role models for me and I pray that I will pass her legacy and testimony on through you Addison.
In honor of Dede: