So you see it everyday on facebook or perhaps you hear about if from your children. It goes something like this:
Jake broke up with Laura today and is now dating Laura's best friend, Sarah.
a couple of day's later:
Sarah broke up with Jake and Jake is back with Laura.
a couple of day's later:
Laura broke up with Jake and is now dating Jake's best friend.
Sound familiar? I'm sure it does. Somehow this "in and out of relationships" has become the norm in our society. Is it even a wonder why the divorce rate is so high? In case you are wondering, allow me to enlighten you a bit. This cycle of dating and breaking up is pretty much just practice for divorce!
Just think about it for a minute:
You date a guy for a few days, a few weeks, a few months or maybe even a few years. You make him feel good. He makes you feel good. You love him. He loves you. You crawl into bed with him before marriage. Perhaps even the same night you met him or a couple of weeks after you started dating. All these emotions are going strong. You can't even be around each other without having to contantly touch each other. Physical activities become more important than talking and getting to know one another. But then something happens. It's not feeling new and shiny anymore. You begin to discover things about him that you never noticed before....things that would have been apparent if you wouldn't have let your emotions mask who the guy really was. You start having agruments which eventually turn into fights. The good feelings are far gone. You want something new. He wants something new. You breakup. You begin the whole process over again with someone new.
Or perhaps you didn't breakup...maybe you married the guy during the "good feeling" stage before you even knew him at all. It wasn't until a few weeks after your wedding that you found his porn stash and the late night calls to other women he had been making. It is then that you realize that you don't know the guy at all...you never did. And now he is your husband. You might even be pregnant with his child. A divorce is on the horizon.
Yes, I realize that not all dating relationships end up this way. But so so so many of them do. And it is so sad. Especially when there are innocent children involved.
So how can we avoid this? The answer is courtship instead of dating. Yes, it sounds old fashioned, I know....because it is! It may be an old way of doing things but what is wrong with that? Especially when it is biblical.
Here is a link to Stacy McDonald's blog on courtship and betrothal. Please read it!
All very true...I despise how people go about relationships these days and it hurts everyone involved. Not only the two going back and forth, but also the children who are scarred from the experience their parents place upon them. I have been in relationships that were a product of this back and forth behaviour, when I tried to as you say "court", they wanted things to move faster and just moved on. It's not old fashioned...it's the way things should be.ReplyDelete